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You can ridicule an idea that someone holds without hurting them. Ricky Gervais. Sex is like money; only too much is enough. John Updike. Software is like sex: it's better when it's free. Linus Torvalds. My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive. Rodney Dangerfield. Sex is emotion in motion.
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1. "He's definitely thirsty tonight." Image: Giphy 2. "That teabag was actually better the second time around." Related story A Cursed List of Bad Pickup Lines to Make You Cringe (& Laugh Too).
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18. "Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in." — Richard Jeni . 19. "The happiest marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
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You be the six. I'll be the nine. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back. I love every part of you. You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pick-up line. Did you know penguins stick to one partner their whole life? Would you like to be my penguin? Can I give you a hug to show you how soft my sweater is?
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Sex and the City. "The good ones screw you, the bad ones screw you, and the rest don't know how to screw you." -- Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall) Want more? Head on over to TooFab to LOL at the rest of these hilarious Top 20 Sex Comedy Quotes. 7 Subtle Signs a Marriage Is in Some Serious Trouble.
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"Who needs to be a supermodel when you're super sexy in your own skin?" "I may not have a modeling contract, but I'm still working the camera like a pro." "I may not be walking in Paris Fashion Week, but I'm still runway-ready in my own way." "Being super sexy is not about fitting into a mold, it's about breaking it with confidence."
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2. "I was hers. She was mine. My body was her chariot, and she drove it into the sun. Her body was my river, and I became the sea." (Gregory David Roberts, Shantaram) —suggested by erenah. 3.
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Vera Rubin "I went to Catholic school and they basically just said don't have sex, but would never explain anything." Khloe Kardashian "My public is growing up just as I am. After all, I'm not 19.
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You're so hot, my zipper is falling for you. They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me? I'm on top of things. Would you like to be one of them? Are you an eco-friendly kind of girl? The condom in my pocket goes expires tomorrow, so why don't you help me use it?
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Submissive Kinky Memes. You might, on the other hand, find yourself to be the more submissive partner. This simply means that you typically enjoy enduring the actions of your partner, whatever that might be. This could look like impact play, roleplay, or any number of other options! It often results in a power dynamic, however….
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128. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me. 129. We should play strip poker. You can strip and I'll poke you. 130. I'm scared of getting pregnant, so do you want to go up to my room and help me test all my condoms? 131. I'll kiss you in the rain so you get twice as wet. 132. My magical watch says you're not wearing any panties.
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That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.". —Jack Handey. 6. Bob: "Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.". Peter: "I wouldn.
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You just left, and I already miss you! First song on the radio, and it reminds me of you. I got you a one-way ticket…to my heart. You mentioned you like bed and breakfasts. I'll bring the bed.
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Men just need a place." ~ Billy Crystal. "Desire is in men a hunger, in women only an appetite ." ~ Mignon McLaughlin. "Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy.
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1. Weirdly, I've been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. —- 2. What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off! —- 3. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He only comes once a year. —- 4. Why didn't Barbie ever get pregnant?
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3. "I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food." 4. "People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made." 5.
